I had a longer post trying to summarize some articles I've read recently on nurturing ability in children. I wasn't satisfied with it, though, and rather than bang my head on it, I'll just point you. New York Magazine reports on the right ways to praise. The authors have a few followup posts on their weblog: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.
This seems related to research showing the impressive effects of practice as described in this NY Times Magazine article. Then there are some articles by your friend and mine, Malcolm Gladwell: the Physical Genius and Do Parents Matter? Also relevant is the example of Làszlò Polgàr, who raised three daughters to be world chess champions, including one who is ranked 13th in the world. And maybe What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage to finish.